12 Steps to Overcoming Shyness With the Opposite Sex

By Natasha A. Unzueta


We are all shy at some times and in some places. That's natural. But when shyness and social anxiety turn into our natural state then it's high time that we did something to turn our attitude around, otherwise we're missing out on life, which isn't the best plan for our limited time on the planet.Start off in easy situations.A party full of hundreds of people isn't necessarily the best place to try to shake off your shyness. Although, that said, since most people there won't know you, it could equally be argued that it is a good training ground. So if you've got enough courage, leap in and don't worry about the consequences - partly because unless you make a complete fool of yourself, it's unlikely there will be any consequences.

Ask yourself why you are shy. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!

Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like "I like myself!" or "I am a winner!"This may sound silly but take time out alone to roleplay situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This roleplaying will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.

You must first determine why you are shy. There are always underlying reasons for the way a person reacts in certain situations.Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private and practice until you begin to see results in public. Walk confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll find yourself behaving the same confident way in social settings.As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself to act as if you are not shy can be very helpful in learning how to overcome shyness altogether.

One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look your best. Looking great makes you feel great and does wonders for your self-esteem.Reduce your fear of rejection by always imagining the worst outcome possible in every social situation. Then if the outcome is less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell on the rejection near as much. Observing strangers and acquaintances and how they relate to others can be a great tool in learning how to overcome shyness.If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join clubs or go to events that interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to engage in conversations with those who have common interests.

Transforming self consciousness into Self Awareness,Tell yourself that the world is not watching you. The truth is, most people are too busy looking at themselves instead of focusing on you. As if you are looking at others, draw that awareness inwards. Find the understanding of what is it that makes you shy. Look inside yourself and observe the presence of your thoughts. Truly self-awareness is the first step in improving ones life.Find what makes you strong,We all have something that we are strong at such as different qualities and the way in which we express ourselves. Locate these strengths and accept them even when they are not viewed in a traditional sense. After all, if the entire world was the same every thing would be overly boring.

There are numerous resources available to you if you need help overcoming shyness. Professional advice and tips on how to overcome shyness can be very beneficial if you are having difficulty taking that first step.Many individuals have overcome shyness by learning how to communicate better. Now, you can, too! Have you ever stepped into an area full of people who you were not familiar with and felt a bit awkward or self-conscious? Do you experience bouts of anxiety when faced with situations that require you to be social? Are there people you want to talk to or activities that you want to take part in, but hold back due to some unspoken insecurity? If so, you are experiencing shyness. You may be introverted or extraverted. It really does not matter. We all experience bouts of shyness to one degree or another within our lifetime. Did you know that it is possible to successfully engage in overcoming shyness by simply learning how to communicate better? In this guide, you will learn some important facts and strategies that will allow you to eliminate the "shell" that may be holding you back in your personal and professional life.

According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.

Choose one with a low score because that will be easier to overcome and will build your confidence when you come to tackle one of the scarier situations.Then make a determined attempt to overcome your shyness in that one, relatively inconsequential, situation.Keep at it - you may not succeed at the first attempt but keep going until that situation has dropped at least one point on the scale.Learn to laugh more,Laughter is an excellent defence mechanism.It diffuses lots of otherwise awkward situations.If you find it hard to laugh, at least raise a smile. This will change the way that other people react to you and you'll be pleasantly surprised when those situations where you were previously shy and reserved turn themselves around almost automatically, just because you've made the effort to laugh or smile.

Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.




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