Fundamental Strategies On How To Improve Self Esteem

By Nathaniel L. Ferguson


Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind. It doesn't matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don't know exactly what you want to improve. You're acting intuitively on external signals.Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change. Know what you want and Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:

Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?

Be with the right people. I have learned many lessons over my years of struggle to end low self esteem; but one of the most important realizations that I made was that the people I surround myself with have a huge bearing on how I feel about myself. With this realization, I had to wisely prune relationships--distance myself from some people and strengthen ties with others. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, see to it that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. Stay away as much as you can from people who belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Belong to a crowd that appreciates your positive traits and helps you come to terms with your imperfections.

There are a few on the surface things that can help. Making a man feel needed is on that is often a sure fire way to get there. Unfortunately, today's independent women have been chipping away at this little tool. You pay your own bills, can change your own tires or call Triple A, and you will hire someone to mow the lawn on the house that you bought. Every now and again, though it would not be so bad to let him help with some of the manly stuff, like the car or something with the house. You know you could take care of it, but it's nice to have him do it for you and he relieves you of the pressure or responsibility of having to handle it. One less thing to worry about.This brings me to my next point. When a man does something for you, whether it is because you could not do it or because you allowed him to help, be appreciative. People want to help, but no one wants to feel unappreciated. No matter how little or how big the deed, it's important that he knows that his efforts are appreciated. Otherwise he has no incentive to want to help again, and you will both be denying him the opportunity to step up and do more of these things that should make him feel great.

To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.

When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.

Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.

During the harder times, things get a little tricky. For instance, in these economic times when there are many men who are unemployed. If yours is one of them it'll be hard on both of you. To start, you may need a book of affirmations (I'm only partly joking with this one). If your man is at that stage he may need you now more than ever, because when he doubts, he needs you to believe in him. He needs to know that you are behind him no matter what. These are the times for the SILENT sacrifices; when you have to pass on something you want, and not complain about it. This is when you don't go to the concert and plan a nice romantic evening at home instead. It will be hard to work the extra hours and then come home to look over his new cover letter, but your devotion will motivate him to keep trying.

Contribute and help. Start sharing your time and skills with people around you that may be in need. When you do good things for others then you feel useful, valued and good about yourself. This will inevitably raise your mood and increase your self esteem. Search your community on how to make a positive impact.Get involved in work and activities that appeal to you. It's hard to feel good about yourself if the days were spent in a job that you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you take our time on activities that you truly enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Even if you can not change work right now, you can still devote leisure time activities and hobbies that stimulate you and you really enjoy.Be honest with yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You will never have respect for yourself if you do not live life the way you want and deserve. If you're making decisions to fit well to other people then you're not being honest with yourself and your self-esteem ends up suffering.Hands up! You will not be able to improve self-esteem if you avoid the challenges of life and the view from afar. If you do not take action for fear or anxiety then you will frustratingly live with self-doubt that will lower their self-esteem




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