Even if you find it very difficult to make conversation with a woman you like, you can find a way to get better at it and to feel a lot more comfortable talking to a woman you are attracted to. Far too often, guys will allow the fact that they feel awkward talking to a woman keep them from approaching women that they would like to be able to get to know better or take out on a date. You don't want to have to go through that, because you know that if you don't find a way to have an easy time talking to women, the dating game is always going to seem hard to you and it really doesn't have to be that way at all.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
They just want to get away. Someone who seems down is just going to drag you down, so again, it is just going to make you want to get away. However, if you have a lot of POSITIVE energy - now that is enticing and addicting and contagious as well. Only, this is the kind of energy that is going to make her want to stay around you.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
They just want to get away. Someone who seems down is just going to drag you down, so again, it is just going to make you want to get away. However, if you have a lot of POSITIVE energy - now that is enticing and addicting and contagious as well. Only, this is the kind of energy that is going to make her want to stay around you.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
A simple "hi" or "what's up?" can do wonders. Conversation is a learned skill. Just like walking, writing, or riding a bike. This is why any man can learn how to talk to women, anywhere, anytime, and virtually any place. I picked up my last girlfriend at a gas station. The one before her I met on an online dating website. And the one before her I met on the side walk while walking my older sister's dog. All it took was breaking the ice, acting natural, and not trying too hard:
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