Getting Your Spouse To Agree To Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


It is sad to notice that the divorce rate between couples is climbing at an alarming speed. Although each couple may have different reasons for separating, it is a fact that life is stressful due to high prices, low or non-existing incomes and the pressures of society in general. These factors do have a negative influence on marriages. In the past marriage counseling was viewed as a last and embarrassing resort, but now it has become an accepted process that can do wonders for a relationship.

If you are the one who needs to initiate the process of acquiring assistance, then you need to do it the right way so that your partner will be open to the idea as well. The idea should be suggested in an appropriate manner so that it is not misunderstood. Firstly, you will need to choose a good time to discuss the matter.

Choose your moment to bring up the subject carefully. If you or your partner is tired or stressed then it is better to wait. A time when you can both sit down and talk without any interruptions is best. Also, when you are alone is best, as you do not want to bring anyone else into the conversation. Your explanation should be positive, and in a way that will help your spouse to understand that it could improve your relationship.

A counselor will see either a couple or just one person, therefore, if your spouse refuses to go then you can still attend the sessions. However, it will be best if you are both present. If you are forced to go on your own, stay committed, and see if you can learn some ways of helping the relationship. Your partner may change his mind in time.

If your partner has agreed to work with you, then you are off to a good start. When both of you agree on the path to take in order to improve your relationship, then you can start to consider the outcome that you desire. Before you even start the sessions with the counselor, you can make a list of goals. Note why you are attending and what you hope to achieve. The list can be made with your spouse or on your own, but should be shared.

While you are noting your goals, make a few additional points as well. These will be the things that you feel need work. The types of things that you feel are a problem within your relationship. They can be brought forth to the counselor.

Don't forget to focus on the good things about your marriage as well. Developing a positive attitude towards each other goes a long way when trying to improve a relationship. Write down the good things, and try to stay focused on them, rather than on the negative aspects.

Marriage counseling is recommended for those having difficulties, but can also be useful for newly weds. Communication problems are often handled, but also more serious issues such as the death of a child and substance abuse. Look for a counselor that you can trust, and one that has experience.




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